The decline of music

Tribute to Douglas Adams

Commies - The real picture

Contrasting Realities

This is an image that someone actually saw. I've just recreated it. Drives a strong point.

Original image taken from Rolfe Art: http://rolfebautista.blogspot.com/2010/06/filipino-slum.html 

Lack of ideas can lead to one!

Compliment the wife, morons

The analogy is scarily accurate

Relationship Types

The Dream Job Conundrum

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

CommunityMatrimony.com

The Following

Role reversal

5 things I learnt in sales

1. Always use the loo when you can. You never know how long the meeting might take or how bad the traffic is.
2. You may not talk like a consultant. You may not think like a consultant. You may or may not draw the same salary as a consultant. But you most definitely can dress like one. Just sometimes, it pays.
3. Learn to act. Act as if you're interested in your client's brother's tale of unemployment. Act as if you share a bond with your colleagues and boss. Act as if you work so hard. Acting makes careers. And lying.
4. Know everything - Roads, Company & Industry Gossip, Politics, Sports and of course Bollywood
5. You can never be late. Others will always be late. Its like a rule. Live with it.

The Illusion of Work

This piece is an attempt at demystifying the art of “Illusion of work”. There have been multiple attempts at presenting works of fiction around the concept. This piece hopes to present a simple guide to maximizing return from the minimal effort you put into your current profession. If you belong to the vast number of people, who hate their job, read on. This will help.

Performance at work can typically be measured on the basis of two types of parameters:

• Results
• Effort

Results based measurements can be dangerous for slackers. Let’s face facts – we don’t deliver results. Hence the foremost aim of the slacker is to maximize effort projection and minimize focus on results. Sounds complicated? Not to worry. Let’s try to categorize activities / performance measures for a clearer understanding.

Type 1 Measures	Results	No of sales closed Sales achieved
Type 2 Measures	Effort	# of customer visits # of opportunities currently pursuing

As you can probably make out the focus should be on avoiding discussions on Type 1 Measures and communicating more Type 2 Measures (refer to my previous blog entry: The art of procrastination for a live example on application of this concept).

Now we’ll try to look at the instruments of the art / tricks of the trade in greater detail:

• Meetings: Meetings are a wonderful way of faking work. The best kinds of meetings are when there are no "Action Items" assigned to you after them. This can be achieved by skilfully attributing work to others during a meeting. Offer to make the minutes and you will be able to document the "Action Items" and assign work to others with deadlines. It’s a win-win, others do the work and you look like a god.
• Travel: The more you travel, the less you work and the more you gain seniority, the more you travel. The more you gain seniority, the less you work. QED.
• Business Planning: This one is only for the pros. If you aren't prepared well enough, you might end up with more work after this exercise then before it. The objective of this exercise is to communicate to your peers and seniors the amount of hard work you've been putting in (By projecting Type 2 Measures). This is a key step to creating the perfect illusion.
• Con-Calls: Con-Calls are god-level. It is essentially a meeting where you can eat sambhar-rice on the side. What’s not to like.

Who can use this art?

• Anyone in sales: Because of the travelling nature of their job, salesmen can practice this art to perfection.
• Government officials: These are the revered lot suspected to have created this art and perfected it over the years. If you want a mentor, catch one.
• Anybody remotely associated with government business: The government officials practice this art to such sublime perfection that anyone in remote proximity automatically finds himself/herself practicing it.
• Anyone in the B2B industry: The B2B industry works incredibly slowly. Ages can pass before work painstakingly transitions from initiation to completion.

The art of procrastination

Finally the reason for Delhi's woeful traffic

This is a DOs & DON'Ts checklist that gets handed out to every person in Delhi when he/she is awarded a license


The objective is to cause pain to every other driver on the road. If you haven't caused pain you haven't done your civic duty as a license holder. Follow these few simple rules to cause maximum pain:


1. If you're driving slowly drive on the right. Then no-one will be able to legally overtake you
2. If you're driving slowly and see someone else doing the same, don't be on the same lane as him/her. Then you'll make overtaking for faster vehicles more difficult
3. Do not follow lanes. That just doesn't make any sense. Eg: You want to turn right at the intersection? Stay on the left and change lanes in the last minute.
4. Don't check the rear-view mirror before overtaking vehicles. In fact fold in you rear-view mirror so that you just can't use it
5. Do not use the dipper at night. Why reduce the noise on the road, eh?
6. Always stay on high beam. Why waste functionalities in your vehicle?
7. Don't use indicators. Even better, if you want to go right, use the indicator for the left and vice versa. What fun no?
8. Every now and then speak on your cell phone. There's no need to pull over, that's just stupid. Whatever happened to multitasking?

Delhi - National Capital Region: Branding Exercise

Indians - The victims of racism

And this is how it all began. Rajni - my inspiration